I met him one day, as it turns out the beginning of the year, and until that day I was indescribably lost. I was lost within my role in life, my purpose and the unfortunate desire to just throw in the towel seemed to enter my mind all too often. I was with a fiancé that had every intention of making me happy and loving me until the end, but he was too emotionally out of anyone’s range in helping him. I had to live at home because I could not afford to live either with my fiancé or by myself and I was stuck at a dead end job like the many before it and my life was emotionally spinning out of control. My friends were moving on with their lives and I felt like the outsider within all aspects of my life and that I was about to drown in my own conceptual sorrow until....
Until I noticed his eyes, until I saw that pure, genuine smile that spread across his face and in that one moment all I wanted to do was have him take me away to be someone new, someone that could begin a new life, in a new town, in a new year.
This was written approximately three years ago, and about a month later, after Valentines Day, I did, in fact split with my fiance. And this was the beginning of my dating life, at least it felt like a renewal of my love life and my love for life. I began to see clearly for the first time in ages that I wanted more, I craved more in this life than I could ever have anticipated. I still had to live at home until I could recuperate myself financially and that has seemed to be a never ending tale all on it's own but I then took my life into my hands. Things that I had put on the back burner for years including writing and other hobbies were finally at my fingertips again. The person that needed to be unleashed was afraid of what might happen if I put my hopes into too many things, including love, but at the same time, I felt like a tiger waiting to pounce, lol, but it took still a few more months for this kitty to put herself out there in the dating scene. The worse aspect of this fear was that I had no idea where to start, how to go about any of it. I forgot even the basics of dating 101 and trying to figure myself out in the process and let others and myself know who I am is still a struggle even to this day.
Until I noticed his eyes, until I saw that pure, genuine smile that spread across his face and in that one moment all I wanted to do was have him take me away to be someone new, someone that could begin a new life, in a new town, in a new year.
This was written approximately three years ago, and about a month later, after Valentines Day, I did, in fact split with my fiance. And this was the beginning of my dating life, at least it felt like a renewal of my love life and my love for life. I began to see clearly for the first time in ages that I wanted more, I craved more in this life than I could ever have anticipated. I still had to live at home until I could recuperate myself financially and that has seemed to be a never ending tale all on it's own but I then took my life into my hands. Things that I had put on the back burner for years including writing and other hobbies were finally at my fingertips again. The person that needed to be unleashed was afraid of what might happen if I put my hopes into too many things, including love, but at the same time, I felt like a tiger waiting to pounce, lol, but it took still a few more months for this kitty to put herself out there in the dating scene. The worse aspect of this fear was that I had no idea where to start, how to go about any of it. I forgot even the basics of dating 101 and trying to figure myself out in the process and let others and myself know who I am is still a struggle even to this day.
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