Rain peddles across in many directions on my face as the wind brings in a harsh chaotic array of air that makes the water dry instantly around my cheeks. The rain brings a comforting chill to my body, a refreshing atonement of how vital water is when your skin needs to absorb necessary hydration. The undeniable thirst that the body craves is also the same undeniable hunger a woman searches for with love.
You, my sweet prince, are back and with butterflies fluttering I let the rain pour down on my head and face as I walk to the studio just to cool down the heat of anticipation. You come over to embrace me and I cannot help but want to fall into your arms and stay there. Your sweet wet lips on mine and the warmth of your hold captivate me.
I wrote a few weeks back about the coldness of your touch and I realize it was a defensive way of holding back the anxiety I knew I would feel once you came back after almost a year.
"There's nothing for me here in Canada anymore though, as of March 2nd I go back and I am not going to return". As much as I have heard similar tunes from you F, I feel for the first time this one is true.
After your class I left without you and as I exited the front doors of the building I realized how empty that moment became and that perhaps I really have to let go of the past; our past. The difficult question is how? How can I honestly go the rest of my life without seeing you?
You told me some troubling things about your family and it feels as though you need to push people away in order to remain calm. What if I said I understand you, that I accept you and that I love you for who you are, always have. A man that regained my self confidence, who taught me to be strong and who never stopped caring about me. To me, there is too much to just sweep away and if I get the chance I will come to you in Czech and I will tell you everything I always wanted to. if you really want it, it's all for you love~
