~Taken from the movie 'The End of the Affair'-"I've only made two promises in my life. One was to marry Henry, the other is to stop seeing you. And I'm too weak to keep either."
The most important man to come into my life and I tried to say goodbye, he is in another country what else could I possibly do? I had to break off this affair for both our sakes. This is what he wrote in return:
With sadness I read your words. I blame myself for brief silence and no communication. I was busy teaching focusing on energy in the studio and my new life in new city. the Venus of Ostrava is a reflection of my happiness a dream of purity of female form. There is no one in my life as I can not be anyone. My heart is aching from a break up with C and it is not ready to love fully again. Indeed including you. I can not love you fully YET. I thought that my trip is about to heal my heart so I could come back and love You fully. Our relationship started while we both were attached. You have changed my relationship with C.Please understand how challenging it is for me to allow myself to fall fully in love with you. We did not have time to get to know each other and be freely together. Still I can say "We can make it". I want you and I want to be with you.
love F
...it doesn't matter that he is in Czech right now and exploring life the way he wants to...the distance does not faze me, in fact, it encourages me to find a sense of myself, to become something I have let go of, finally gain some stability and organization to my life. It doesn't mean I don't miss F like crazy, it just means he can lay me in a bed of contentment when we find each other again.
Such a man can and has done wonders on my very soul. I love you with all my heart F.
