to say what you mean and what you want are probably the two hardest things to accomplish successfully. it's already November and as the clock ticks closer and closer to your arrival back to Vancouver I feel a warmth, a unified glow or rays of wanting and a means to tell you all that I had felt when you flew out of my life just eleven months prior. I thought at that time I would not get the chance to ever tell you that I succumbed to love. I wanted to tell you that I couldn't keep it simple; that I wanted to be more than just a love affair and I wanted mostly, to tell you to stay.
now that eleven months has passed and hearing the coldness of your voice through your letters makes me realize the glow is and will be of temporary means and no doubt it will not be the same as before until it will evidently fade into darkness.
I look back at our time fondly but it is so much dimmer than the inoculate fairy tale of light that you blinded me with. I wonder what will become of this forgotten love that so briefly had me entranced in a ray of light.
Your breath, your kiss, your touch was all I thought I needed to heal until I finally came to the conclusion that your breath was shallow, your kiss was passionless and your touch was cold.
...no need to worry though, my sunshine is exactly where I left it, all in the feel and kiss and touch of the man I truly love...E.
