Yes, as you may have noticed, I have once again, diverted myself from writing here but these past three months have certainly been an eye opener to the feelings I thought I was having for J. As I look back at my last blog and the journals I remember the intense emotions I felt for this man have now diminished by time, new perspectives and well, new men. And, as I look at my blog I think the best way to begin this refreshing renovation on myself is to start from the beginning with men, right from my first boyfriend:
where do I begin...well I was thirteen years old; bright, full of motivation, full of energy, eager to take on the challenges that high school was going to bring. When high school did begin in the fall of '95 I felt like nothing could defeat me: classes were going so smoothly I actually thought the tests and assignments were 'below' my grade level, friends were above and beyond abundant considering the unnecessary moves to different elementary schools within my community made me reconnect with old and dear friends, and my cheerful perspective made me win over new ones. I loved gym class and tried out for various sports and activities outside of school and what made me feel the most at ease was that I was able to succeed in pleasing my parents; my father, in particular. What I did not realize was all this vanity and success was going to really change my perspective on people and what was really going to make me happy (or unhappy) about the real me. As well, by only the second term (there are only three terms in each grade), I had met the man that was going to change..no..how about redefine...the real me.
Adolescents, yes, in all its glory is a time of hormonal change for guys and girls and they do become selfish little beings in that everything in their lives is exaggerated and over dramatized. I believe that all adolescents suffer from their own 'mood disorder' or most of any other disorder you can look up in the newest edition of the DSM (for the rest of my readers that's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders). Depression, of all these disorders can be unleashed in various behaviors such as violence, suicide attempts, bullying, other rebellious behavior, over/under eating, erratic sleeping patterns, promiscuity, drug abuse, etc. Of course, these are extreme behaviors and some adolescents simply want to find a path of their own with new people to help them express themselves including the Gothic/emo scene, lol. I suppose my original point here is that adolescent times are subject to extreme behaviors and thus should either be taken seriously or accepted, depending on the child and their vulnerability or subjectivity to mood disorders.
where do I begin...well I was thirteen years old; bright, full of motivation, full of energy, eager to take on the challenges that high school was going to bring. When high school did begin in the fall of '95 I felt like nothing could defeat me: classes were going so smoothly I actually thought the tests and assignments were 'below' my grade level, friends were above and beyond abundant considering the unnecessary moves to different elementary schools within my community made me reconnect with old and dear friends, and my cheerful perspective made me win over new ones. I loved gym class and tried out for various sports and activities outside of school and what made me feel the most at ease was that I was able to succeed in pleasing my parents; my father, in particular. What I did not realize was all this vanity and success was going to really change my perspective on people and what was really going to make me happy (or unhappy) about the real me. As well, by only the second term (there are only three terms in each grade), I had met the man that was going to change..no..how about redefine...the real me.
Adolescents, yes, in all its glory is a time of hormonal change for guys and girls and they do become selfish little beings in that everything in their lives is exaggerated and over dramatized. I believe that all adolescents suffer from their own 'mood disorder' or most of any other disorder you can look up in the newest edition of the DSM (for the rest of my readers that's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders). Depression, of all these disorders can be unleashed in various behaviors such as violence, suicide attempts, bullying, other rebellious behavior, over/under eating, erratic sleeping patterns, promiscuity, drug abuse, etc. Of course, these are extreme behaviors and some adolescents simply want to find a path of their own with new people to help them express themselves including the Gothic/emo scene, lol. I suppose my original point here is that adolescent times are subject to extreme behaviors and thus should either be taken seriously or accepted, depending on the child and their vulnerability or subjectivity to mood disorders.
